Secrets
by Bullet in the Brainpan- Squish
Summary: My dark, evil, dangerous, painful secrets. How well I keep them from notice. XxXxDARK!xXxX XxGuess the characterxX


**WARNING: DARK!!**

**BB: This is a slightly dark history fic. So be warned. Read it, and then send me a reveiw telling me who it is. Cookies and squirrels for those who are right!!**

**DON'T OWN BLEACH!! IF I DID, ORIHIME WOULD HAVE "REJECTED" ULQUIORRA AND THERE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ENOUGH OF HIM TO WIPE UP WITH A SHEET OF BOUNTY!!**

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Secrets

Dark secrets

How well I hide them. How well I keep them from the light, from acknowledgement. My dark, evil, dangerous, _painful_ secrets. How well I keep them from notice.

I hide the evidence of my secrets with my clothes, my attitude. I hide the pain behind a kind smile, hide the darkness behind gentle eyes, hide the scars behind soft hair. I hide the evil and death behind the good and the healing.

I was born in Rukongai, in the 80th district, the Zaraki district. This was one of the reasons I hate Kenpachi, and yet, understand him at the same time. We came from the same world.

I was born in the 80th, a small girl child with pretty eyes, and dark hair. I was born to one of the many whorehouses, to a woman who hated me beyond anything. My, for lack of better term, mother had tried to kill me after I was born, but the man who run the whorehouse saw money in me, and saved me. And money was the only thing that kept me alive.

As I grew, I became beautiful, graceful, a sure treat for any man. But the whorehouse had gotten in with some bad men, terrible men, and they had threatened to kill everyone. The man who had saved my life had asked what he could give to keep his house, his life. The price was me, plump, fourteen years of age, me.

I was given to a group of men who were worse then anything I had ever seen. I was used to sex, beatings, even slightly acquainted with death, but these men were cruel in their enjoyments. They beat my body until I was sure I was broken. They used my body for things that are unimaginable. They killed women near me, in front of me, and told me that I would be next, if I did not shut up and spread my legs.

I was their toy, and that was all. An object.

Their leader too saw money in me. He made a deal with a another group of men, another group of cruel, sadistic, evil creatures. I was exchanged for a few ryu and few bottles of sake. I was worth no more then that.

This group was worse then the last. There were times when I was sure I would not survive. I traded hands often, traded to group to group to group. I was broken, beaten, terrified that I would die if I did not do what I was told. I was not strong, but weak, useless.

I was alone, in a world of monsters

The voice began after a particular vicious session of pain. I had curled up in a corner, hoping that the demons were done for that night, knowing that the pain would begin the next day. I believe I was twenty-five, but I am not sure. I still to this day cannot differentiate the days and years through that time. It was all such a long, dark, painful blur.

The voice was soft at first, whispering gently in my head, telling me I was worth more. The voice was gentle, kind, something that was completely foreign to me. I ignored it, fighting to keep what little sanity I could, but it gently persisted.

It was a time afterwards that I allowed myself to listen to the voice. It whispered words of encouragement, kindness, things I had never heard before. Soon I found myself asking questions, in my head, to the voice. And it answered me, telling me what I wished to know calmly, patiently. I soon realized that I ignored everything around me, concentrating solely on the voice.

My latest master noticed this. He did not like that. He wanted me crying, sobbing, broken, but as the voice spoke, I healed. He did not want that.

He decided to torture me. He had tied me to a bed, tore the rag I had been wearing as clothes, and pulled out a knife. He had stuck it into a lantern, making me watch the end slowly turn cherry red. My panic, fear, desperation, had drowned out that calm voice, and I had no escape.

At that moment, the small twig that my sanity was bending slowly, dangerously close to snapping.

He pulled the knife out of the fire and slowly advanced towards me. He kissed my shoulder, trailed gentle kisses down my chest. Then he lifted, and slowly placed the knife where he had kissed my shoulder, dug down, and dragged the hot steel down the path he had kissed.

The twig cracked ominously, but held.

He then began drawing designs on my body, carving pictures with the red metal. At some point, I remember blacking out from the pain. He waited until I woke up to continue. And when he was finished, blood covering my body, he decided that he wanted me, and took me.

The twig strained, barely keeping whole

He untied me afterwards, seeing that I was no challenge. I had stopped moving, just staring at the ceiling with unblinking eyes. But as he untied me, I heard the voice again, screaming at me in panic, worry, fear, screaming my name.

I snapped

My right hand gripped something that had not been there before, and I moved as fast as I could with my torn body, driving the thing into him. He was surprised, shocked. The item in my hand was heavy, long, and so, with great difficulty, I pulled it out and jammed it into him again. I repeated the action as many times as I could, until he fell, bleeding from gaping holes in his stomach.

Looking down, I realized I was holding a sword.

I do not remember much beyond that. I remember the voice whispering my ear, the feeling of wetness on my arms, and then darkness, but that's it. I do not know how I got into the woods behind the man's house, I do not know where I found clothes, how I put them one, or anything else.

When I woke, I was in the woods, my new blade laying beside me. It's blade was still red with blood, and it reminded me of what had happened. That was when I had looked down at myself, and under my clothes.

Thin white lines covered every part of my body. I had recognized them as old scars, which was an impossibility as I had been injured the night before. I then decided there more important things to do, like running as fast I possibly could away, and picked myself up. I also picked up the sword. At some point the previous night, I had picked up two rolls of what looked like gauze. I could hear water, babbling water, and knew I needed to clean up the blood before I wrapped the blade.

My body was not even sore, though it was stiff. I moved slowly, but persistently. By the time I had reached the small creek, I was able to move without my limbs locking up.

I slowly lowered the creek into the water, careful not to wet the hilt. It was a beautiful blade I realized as the water turned it's steel from red to silver. It was large, heavy, it's hilt wrapped in red. A dark red, the color of dried blood.

After the blood was all gone, I pulled the weapon out of the water, and gently dried with some of the gauze. Then starting at the end of the blade, I had begun wrapping it slowly, carefully, all the way to the hilt. I tied it off, and with the remainder of the strip of gauze, placed the sword on my back, and wrapped it around me from shoulder to waist.

Then I had stood, and ran.

That voice stayed with me, calming me, keeping me as sane as I possibly could. I ran, ran, and ran until I reached large white walls, and a gate. The gatekeeper had looked at me, at the blade on my back, and yelled for someone. I nearly ran away, but a young man stopped me. I would not have stayed, I had seen the blade on his waist, but the voice told me that they were friendly.

The man took me inside the walls, and explained many things to me. I listened intently, but was prepared to ran at the slightest notice. And then the man asked me if I wished to stay. There would be food, water, medical attention, and safety. That was a big thing for me, that safety.

The voice whispered that I would be able to learn more here, then on my own. I would be able to hear it more, better, clearer.

I agreed to stay, and have never left.

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**BB: Okay, tell me who it is. You'd probably be able to guess, it doesn't seem that hard to me, but i could be wrong. I have some clues in there, so yeah, guess. **

**Also, my other stories will be updated, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting. I've been suffereing from a major "Multi-ChapBlockitious", so please be patient with me. **


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